The Wiggly Tendrils – Romance In The Executive Branch EP

BTID-009
Release date: 2-15-10
http://thewigglytendrils.blogspot.com/

Download the zip file here or stream/download individual tracks below.

1. Washington v Lincoln

(words and music by Deirdre aka dk land)

Happy Presidents Day!
You mean happy Washington’s Birthday.
Oh, come on, you know they moved it earlier for me.
But it’s still my holiday.
*Sight* Do we have to go through this again?
You started it. Well actually, I started it…

A cordial, habitual, and immovable attachment
These considerations speak a persuasive language
to every reflecting and virtuous mind,
and exhibit the continuance of the UNION as a primary object of Patriotic desire.

This state of feeling must fade, is fading
has faded with the circumstance that produced it
and the temple must fall unless we build it anew
with pillars hewn from the quarry of sober reason

Patriotic desire / Sober reason

I’m the founder of my country
I’m the lover of liberty
I created for posterity
I nation of freedom for all

I’m the savior of my country
I’m the lover of liberty
I delivered to posterity
A new birth of freedom for all

I’m the father of my country
I’m the lover of liberty
Our union in perpetuity
With freedom and justice for all

We’re the lovers of liberty
We’re the fathers of our country
Our union in perpetuity

With freedom and justice for all

who is the imagined singer? Lincoln/Washington
who is the intended listener? Lincoln/Washington
ask three questions
1. How many people know that the official name of the federal holiday known to many as “President’s Day” is actually “Washington’s Birthday”?
2. Who was shafted more by the Uniform Monday Holiday Act, Washington or Lincoln?
2a. Does putting the holiday of Washington’s birthday halfway between Lincoln and Washington’s birthday make up for its bias official title?
3. Washington or Lincoln – Which is the better man?!

describe your song in one word: duet throwdown!

2. One President At A Time

(words and music by The Parents)

Dear president,
now that you’re sworn in,
you can write your address and fill cabinets
but there’s something i must remind you.

Dear president,
I beg your pardon.
You must bear in mind you’ve got limited time
like those who came before you.

CHORUS:

It’s not that i think you’re a bad president;
there’s no one who loves you more than I.
But baby you know I stick to one president at a time –
and it’s a short term love affair.

I’m yours for now,
but please don’t be jealous.
‘cuz I’ve had “Tippecanoe” and Bush one and two,
And 41 other fellas.

love can be rough,
it was tricky with Nixon,
Teddy laid it on thick with that “Rough Rider” shtick,
and Grant struggled with his addiction

(CHORUS)

GEORGE WASHINGTON BRIDGE:

George said it was over and I cried
I wanted one leader all my life!
But in the end I realized
I needed someone new but not at the same time

FDR and I
pulled through a Depression.
It was incumbent upon us to keep him in office
even though it broke with the precedent.

And when you’re gone,
I’ll have other honeys.
But just know that your face
will still have a place
on mountains, statues, and money.

ALT CHORUS:

Some go for lots of strong executives,
With maybe a few more on the side.
But I just prefer to love my one president at a time.

(CHORUS)

Imagined singer: Tom Waits (middle period)
Intended Listener: A collection of one’s lovers, present and past, in a meeting imagined on a lonely Valentine’s Day.

Three Questions

1. Is it better to love many people diffusely or love one person intensely? What if you had to choose just one?
2. Have you seen that new Woody Allen movie Whatever Works? Definitely his best in a decade at least. Anyway, people end up fucking in all kind of permutations, lovers with ex-lovers, friends of ex-lovers, etc. Why is it that when this happens in real life people get pissed at each other?
2b. Do movies present an unrealistic model for love? What movie has most influenced your misguided definition of love?
3. Does love still conquer all or is it just a good refrain?

In a word: amorío

3. Calvin and Grace

(words and music by Ben Stark)

Grace, said Calvin, my soul is weary.
These last few years have done me harm.
Let’s load some things into the Ford
and leave for Father’s farm.

To what I am and what we are,
the place where we belong,
where the north woods roll to the mountains,
silent, deep, and strong.

On the way we’ll visit Cally
in his simple, peaceful home.
You can leave a red, red rose,
and we’ll travel on alone.

And drive into the night time,
the place where we belong,
you, Grace, and the north woods,
silent, deep, and strong.

And drive into the night time,
the place where we belong,
you, Grace, and the north woods,
silent, deep, and strong.

Name: Gabe McElwain
Who is the imagined singer: Calvin Coolidge
Who is the intended listener: Grace Coolidge

4. Remember The Ladies

(words and music by D.E. Healey)

ABIGAIL:
have you declared an independency?
delare it so long as it be
not independency from me

write codes of laws, enshrine the common good
do not forget that all men would
be tyrants o’er us if they could

remember the ladies because
we will not be subject to laws
in which we’ve not had any say
be friends and not masters, i pray
remember the ladies, do
your lady remembers you

JOHN:
has our behavior taught your tribe so well
that you plan likewise to rebel
against a chauvinistic shell

from despotism of the petticoat
we must defend our manly vote
our only leverage of note

our masculine pow’r
mere words at worst
you bid me burn
your letters but
i must forget you first

ABIGAIL:
how goes the war? how goes proclaiming peace
and freedom? will you not release
these arbitrary sov’reignties?

JOHN:
in theory men may have the upper hand
the title master may sound grand
in practice we’re at your command

Imagined singer: john and abigail adams
Imagined listener: abigail and john adams

5. Ragalovin

(words and music by Rachel Kelly)

Ragamuffin ragamuffin ragamuffin Just a
Ragamuffin ragamuffin ragamuffin I’m a
Ragamuffin ragamuffin ragamuffin Just a

So precious
worth more than diamonds and gold
You’re infectious
like measles straight to my heart
till death do us part

Maybe it was your uniform
I’ve totally been taken my storm
You’re so full of grace
standing by those gates

please mr. security guard
let me say I love you
security guard
I’m only thinking of you
I know I’ve lost my job
and I’m just a poor old slob
but please choose me from this mob
and say I’m yours

I came to see FDR
to say thanks for reopening the bars
I was hit by a meteor from above
called love

ragamuffin ragamuffin ragamuffin I’m a
ragamuffin ragamuffin ragamuffin I’m a
ragamuffin ragamuffin ragamuffin

So precious worth more than rubies and pearls
You’re infectious like diphtheria for my soul
I want you to know

Let’s stimulate the economy by going out to dinner
or catching a movie
we can take it slow
I’ve no place to go

Please mr…
I came to see FDR…

Singer: FDR era ragamuffin / newsie / orphan
Listener: FDR era White House security guard
Questions (one too many):
Why does the r/n/o want to see the President?
What’s his or her favorite activity?
( What’s the r/n/o’s vision of the future? Cull if you’re a stickler for the rules! )
Is it better to be precious, or infectious?
One word: Persuasive

6. Dear Martha

(words and music by Jon Hersh aka Stryker)

martha dear
I’m coming home
i apologize for what you objected to
surely it was the best move i had
i couldn’t leave the one i love
inauguration day i spend alone and sipping rum and where were you

martha dear
you married young to another man
who died and left you here
surly you made the best of things
i never thought you’d love me like
martha dear i’m coming
home to mount vernon to farm and build our lives

martha dear i’m coming
i couldn’t wish for more in life, just more of it
the cold in valley forge
using thorns to pin your clothes
you spent entertaining wives and sleeping by my side
we’ll spend the best years of our lives
where other men took mistresses
i helped to free a state
i couldn’t watch it all come down
and you stood by my side
and now i stand with you ’tis well
’tis well oh, ’tis well

Name: Rebecca Stark
Who is the imagined singer: George Washington
Who is the intended listener: the USA
Ask three questions:
What are the similarities between romantic love and love of country
Was Washington really acting with love when he refrained from running for a third term of office?
Should the famous quote really read “first in war, first in peace, and first in the hearts of his countryWOMEN”?
describe your song in one word:
dignified

7. The Fires Of Mount Vernon

(words and music by B.T. Nook)

The wind is cold, and how the woods are silent
I’d say the two of us have seen our share of violence

Though I know you worried, I always came through
I crossed the Delaware that I might sleep beside you

Now let us rest a while, oh please Martha my love
We can spend out our days in this dear sweet country home

Let the fires of Mount Vernon take the chill from out our bones
Let the fires of Mount Vernon ignite our hearts as one

I know you never wanted to enter public life
Still you followed bravely every single time

Those days are at an end, oh yes Martha my dear
Our evenings are so warm, and our nights are so clear

We survived the cruelest winter in the frozen hell of Valley Forge
The fiery heaven of Mount Vernon will always be our home

The factions that might divide us
They’ll try to get inside us
But our [more] perfect union
Formed by our gentle constitutions
Can weather any storm

Let the fires of Mount Vernon burn the winter from our lungs
Let the fires of Mount Vernon warm us when our work is done
Let the fires of Mount Vernon keep the morning frost at bay
Let the fires of Mount Vernon melt our hearts away

Name: Ben Stark
Who is the imagined singer: an older person
Who is the intended listener: the older person’s spouse
Ask three questions:
How deep is the snow?
How warm is the fire?
How quiet are the woods?
Describe your song in one word:
homey

8. Steel and Roses

(words and music by Becky Stark)

Put your fist in the air
Put your pen to the paper
And deliver an oration
And then do it all again

Is this what we’re become
A shrine to repetition
To that glorious tradition
The machinery of men

This passionless display
Of presidential trappings
Does little to convey
Wherein our will to service lies

For who among us would have run
Were it not to curry favor
With the truest of the patriots
Our lovers and our wives

Oh oh oh we demand our steel and roses
And if they do not deliver we shall have to force their hand
You’ve sustained and mystified us
You’ve destroyed us and inspired us
And where we now stand why should you not stand?

Every peace that was won
Each diplomacy completed
Would be lost without the aid
And the resolve that you conferred

Now we serve our countrymen
In perpetual retirement
Oh mechanical first ladies
May our prayers not go unheard

Oh oh oh we demand our steel and roses
And if they do not deliver we shall have to force their hand
You’ve sustained and mystified us
You’ve destroyed us and inspired us
And where we now stand why should you not stand?

Martha Margaret Abigail, Mary Ellen Barbara
Rachel Helen Rosalyn and Dolly Florence Laura

Jacqueline and Julia Elizabeth and Hanna
Mamie Ida Lady Bird and Caroline and Anna

Oh oh oh we demand our steel and roses
And if they do not deliver we shall have to force their hand
You’ve sustained and mystified us
You’ve destroyed us and inspired us
And where we now stand why should you not stand?

Put your fist in the air
Put your pen to the paper
And deliver an oration
And then do it all again


Name: B. T. Nook
Who is the imagined singer: Animatronic Presidents
Who is the intended listener: Animatronic Presidents’ Wives/Lovers
Ask three questions:
Why would you condemn an animatronic president to spend eternity, fixed in place, without his first lady?
Can the visitors hear the sorrow in our voices?
How can a chorus of robotic representations of great men convince their designers
to make robotic representations of the women who made them great?
Describe your song in one word:
Persuasive

9. Taft He Lives The Largest

(words and music by T.W. Tendrils)

taft he lived the largest
taft his belt stretched the farthest
taft isn’t he marvelous
taft

kennedy was young
the oldest was reagan
madison was small
and lincoln taller than them all

taft isn’t he marvelous
taft he lives the largest
whoo!

kennedy was young
the oldest was reagan
washington was first
and james buchanan was voted worst

taft he lives the largest
taft isn’t he marvelous

teddy roosevelt dug the panama canal
but his mustache was described as
penultimate
the ultimate the ultimate was

taft isn’t he marvelous
taft he lives the largest
taft he lives the largest
whoo!

Who’s the imagined singer? children (cute kiddie voices joined in song)
Who’s the intended listener? cynics
Ask three questions:
Who was the youngest president ever?
Who was the president with the MOST health problems/political strife/missteps/just plain BAD decisions?
Who truly personified “leadership”?
Describe your song in one word: Loquacious

Artwork by: Megan Coleman and Gabe McElwain

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